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Monday, 12 December 2011 04:15 Brian Friedkin

MCT Gets A Microphone Once Again into An Obama Cabinet Meeting

-Democrats To Change Name To Republicans In 2012

MCT has scored another scoop. Once again we got a microphone into an Obama cabinet meeting. In this meeting Obama and cabinet discuss their plans on how to win the up and coming election in 2012. Here is the transcript:

President Obama: Hello cabinet and staff members. I have called this meeting because I want to start formulating and putting into action our plan to get reelected. We have several strategies that we need to implement.

VP Biden: Sorry to interrupt Barry. But I think that we cannot, by law, devote our government business here to campaigning. Don't we have to do that in our off hours?

President Obama: Of course, Joey, you're talking about the Hatch Act that prohibits federal employees, except the president and vice president, from engaging in political activities on the job. But I think it's OK if you and I talk about it and everyone else just listens. But aren't there other exemptions?

VP Biden: You may have a point. But perhaps we need a legal clarification. Attorney General Holder, you are the chief attorney in the country. What do you think?

President Obama: Oh no. Not again. Who brought in the cardboard cutout this time? .... Continue Reading the rest of the transcript of this cabinet meeting .....

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Monday, 03 October 2011 02:41 Brian Friedkin

A MCT Exclusive:

MCT Plants A Microphone Into A White House Cabinet Meeting On What To Do About The Occupy Wall Street Protests

Just a few days ago only a handful of news organizations were talking about the growing New York "Occupy Wall Street," crowd. Now they have everyones' attention and it is growing into a major movement. As of late Saturday night New York police have arrested 700 people and we will see on Monday if the stock brokers can even get into the NY Stock Exchange.

MCT has learned that President Obama, staff, several cabinet secretaries, and Federal Reserve Chairman "Helicopter" Ben Bernanke just had a Sunday morning emergency meeting in the White House on what to do about the growing movement. As it was Sunday morning the group did not think it was odd that a cleaning lady was in the room dusting. The cleaning lady is one of many MCT sources who recorded the meeting with her concealed cell phone. So here is a MCT exclusive: A transcript of the President, staff, cabinet secretaries and Fed Chairman Bernanke on what to do about the anti-Wall Street protests now going on in New York.

Obama: I have called you guys here on a Sunday because I think we have a big problem with these New York protesters that we need to deal with. We had those Tea Party folks to contend with before, but they were kind of nutty. They were going on about big government and health care stuff and didn't even know they were on government health care.

Staff Member: Well aren't these protesters in New York nutty also? They were blocking traffic on ..... Continue Reading the transcript of the rest of the meeting ......

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Friday, 01 July 2011 06:32 Brian Friedkin

Artist Violetta Fadda Is Showing The World Real Art

A Meltingclocktimes.com Biographical Profile
(Clicca qui per la versione italiana)

.... Click to read it and see 20 fantastic photos ....

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Monday, 09 May 2011 05:57 Brian Friedkin

Word Mix-up Disease Afflicting Millions

Have you ever thought, “The birds are blooming, the sky is singing, the flowers are blue and yet something is wrong?” Everything seems right and going beautiful but still everyone dislikes you. You may be the victim of a discovered newly disorder called, “Word Mix-up Disease.”

According to psychiatrist Dr. Vertold Singsing, “Often Word Mix-up Disease victims are not even aware that they are wording up their mixes. Then they can't even understand that why weird look at them people, or why no one jokes at their laughs.”

“People always reacted to me as if I nut case like a rambling—even when I witty I was thought saying. But it is a dyslexia just like disorder. The only oral is that it is difference and not visual,” says sufferer word mix-up Jayzeed Flookerbottom who started a Brooklyn word mix-up support group disease.

On the positive note, you may have thought .... Reading Continue this about disorder ....

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Thursday, 07 April 2011 22:26 Brian Friedkin

Google Attempts To Censor Meltingclocktimes.com

Has Google Jumped The Shark? & Is It Turning Into Just Another Giant Bureaucratic Quagmire Bullshit Corporation?

If you have been on MCT before you may have noticed there were Google ads on the left column that are not there anymore. In fact, don't you think the site looks better without that crap there? The AdamEve ad on the right looks much better and generates four times the revenue that the Google ads did--(for MCT-who knows what Google's take is?)

So why are the Google ads gone? We should have got rid of that crap sooner. However, Google decided to do us the favor and stopped the ads themselves. A Google Elf named, "Adsence-Noreply" sent us an email that said unless we change "violations" they would cut off the ads. In other words, Google tried to censor MCT. Just who the fuck are they to tell us what content to publish? If Google doesn't want to get involved with porno that is their business. But MCT is not a porno site, it is a satire site.

The email said change a page, which may be only an example-or maybe not. And I guess it meant change similar things, even though most everything on MCT is unique. Since no one will tell MCT what to publish we did nothing. We would have told Google to fuck off, but it is impossible to reach a real person at Google. And just how do you respond to "noreply" anyway? So Google cut the ads.

What page was it that they didn't like? .... Continue Reading about this and take a poll ....

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Thursday, 24 February 2011 04:30 Brian Friedkin

Recycled Toilet Paper—Questions Arise On How Toilet Paper Manufacturers Get The Shit Out

Did the toilet paper co. completely clean out the shit? We would hesitate to look closely or smell it to make sure. Everywhere you look you see recycled products. Newspapers are made with recycled newspapers. Recycled bags in the grocery store, recycled paper towels. Meltingclocktimes.com salutes the paper industry's endeavors to save trees by using recycled paper. But we have to draw the line on toilet paper. Just how do you get the shit out? And is it even possible to get the shit completely out? Are toilet paper companies sacrificing our health and sanitation for profits? Recycled toilet paper may look white, but we believe it still must harbor bacteria. We do not want to look closely and we will certainly not smell it to test if all the shit got cleaned out.

Meltingclocktimes.com launched an investigation into this dirty business of recycling toilet paper. MCT CEO and head investigative reporter, Brian Friedkin took a trip to a local sewage treatment plant to discover just how and under what conditions the toilet paper companies gather up the used toilet paper. He reports:

I entered through the sewage plant gates and saw many huge concrete vats of steaming shit. The smell was strong. An employee .... Continue Reading about this shit ....

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Thursday, 10 February 2011 05:39 Brian Friedkin

The Dark Side Of The Internet: There Is A Growing Underworld Of People Publishing And Exchanging Photos Of Pet Poodles

The most pornographic photo we have ever published.

A Meltingclocktimes.com editorial
Recently as I was surfing the web I accidentally hit on a random page and made a startling discovery. It is shocking and maybe you know something about it. There is an underworld of people publishing and exchanging photos of poodles. It shocked me to see peoples' horrid pet poodle photos. To think people actually own and live with these little rat dogs--that is bad enough. But to subject other people to this repulsiveness and publish the photos on the Internet--oh, the horror!

Why is it that there is pornography blocking software, but no poodle blocking software? Many Internet sites discourage naked humans and people engaged in sexual .... Continue Reading about this obscenity ....

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Thursday, 27 January 2011 05:04 Brian Friedkin

Man Lets Out Hellacious Fart In Mexican Restaurant, 3 Dead

Officials examining the fart destruction. It may have been the strongest human fart in recorded history and the results were tragic. A Hoboken, Oregon man, who was a long time sufferer of gas, let out a fart yesterday in a Mexican restaurant and killed three people.

It must have been a terrible way to go. The district attorney is deciding whether to charge the man with anything. Several people were asphyxiated and paramedics who rushed to the scene had to give many restaurant patrons CPR. The unfortunate victims, who authorities determined died from suffocation, sat at an adjacent table near the fart perpetrator where the air circulation was poor. The restaurant owner denies that the restaurant's beans were the cause.

With the growing population of obese people the potential for dangerous gas build up in these giant sized intestines has increased. Dr. Melville McKrauten said, “I have seen some big intestines in big bellies. An immense amount of methane gas can ... Continue Reading this wind breaking news ...

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