Word Mix-up Disease Afflicting Millions

Have you ever thought, “The birds are blooming, the sky is singing, the flowers are blue and yet something is wrong?” Everything seems right and going beautiful but still everyone dislikes you. You may be the victim of a discovered newly disorder called, “Word Mix-up Disease.”

According to psychiatrist Dr. Vertold Singsing, “Often Word Mix-up Disease victims are not even aware that they are wording up their mixes. Then they can't even understand that why weird look at them people, or why no one jokes at their laughs.”

“People always reacted to me as if I nut case like a rambling—even when I witty I was thought saying. But it is a dyslexia just like disorder. The only oral is that it is difference and not visual,” says sufferer word mix-up Jayzeed Flookerbottom who started a Brooklyn word mix-up support group disease.

On the positive note, you may have thought .... Reading Continue this about disorder ....

Google Attempts To Censor Meltingclocktimes.com

Has Google Jumped The Shark? & Is It Turning Into Just Another Giant Bureaucratic Quagmire Bullshit Corporation?

If you have been on MCT before you may have noticed there were Google ads on the left column that are not there anymore. In fact, don't you think the site looks better without that crap there? The AdamEve ad on the right looks much better and generates four times the revenue that the Google ads did--(for MCT-who knows what Google's take is?)

So why are the Google ads gone? We should have got rid of that crap sooner. However, Google decided to do us the favor and stopped the ads themselves. A Google Elf named, "Adsence-Noreply" sent us an email that said unless we change "violations" they would cut off the ads. In other words, Google tried to censor MCT. Just who the fuck are they to tell us what content to publish? If Google doesn't want to get involved with porno that is their business. But MCT is not a porno site, it is a satire site.

The email said change a page, which may be only an example-or maybe not. And I guess it meant change similar things, even though most everything on MCT is unique. Since no one will tell MCT what to publish we did nothing. We would have told Google to fuck off, but it is impossible to reach a real person at Google. And just how do you respond to "noreply" anyway? So Google cut the ads.

What page was it that they didn't like? .... Continue Reading about this and take a poll ....

Recycled Toilet Paper—Questions Arise On How Toilet Paper Manufacturers Get The Shit Out

Everywhere you look you see recycled products. Newspapers are made with recycled newspapers. Recycled bags in the grocery store, recycled paper towels. Meltingclocktimes.com salutes the paper industry's endeavors to save trees by using recycled paper. But we have to draw the line on toilet paper. Just how do you get the shit out? And is it even possible to get the shit completely out? Are toilet paper companies sacrificing our health and sanitation for profits? Recycled toilet paper may look white, but we believe it still must harbor bacteria. We do not want to look closely and we will certainly not smell it to test if all the shit got cleaned out.

Meltingclocktimes.com launched an investigation into this dirty business of recycling toilet paper. MCT CEO and head investigative reporter, Brian Friedkin took a trip to a local sewage treatment plant to discover just how and under what conditions the toilet paper companies gather up the used toilet paper. He reports:

I entered through the sewage plant gates and saw many huge concrete vats of steaming shit. The smell was strong. An employee .... Continue Reading about this shit ....

The Dark Side Of The Internet: There Is A Growing Underworld Of People Publishing And Exchanging Photos Of Pet Poodles

A Meltingclocktimes.com editorial
Recently as I was surfing the web I accidentally hit on a random page and made a startling discovery. It is shocking and maybe you know something about it. There is an underworld of people publishing and exchanging photos of poodles. It shocked me to see peoples' horrid pet poodle photos. To think people actually own and live with these little rat dogs--that is bad enough. But to subject other people to this repulsiveness and publish the photos on the Internet--oh, the horror!

Why is it that there is pornography blocking software, but no poodle blocking software? Many Internet sites discourage naked humans and people engaged in sexual .... Continue Reading about this obscenity ....