Man Lets Out Hellacious Fart In Mexican Restaurant, 3 Dead
It may have been the strongest human fart in recorded history and the results were tragic. A Hoboken, Oregon man, who was a long time sufferer of gas, let out a fart yesterday in a Mexican restaurant and killed three people.
It must have been a terrible way to go. The district attorney is deciding whether to charge the man with anything. Several people were asphyxiated and paramedics who rushed to the scene had to give many restaurant patrons CPR. The unfortunate victims, who authorities determined died from suffocation, sat at an adjacent table near the fart perpetrator where the air circulation was poor. The restaurant owner denies that the restaurant's beans were the cause.
With the growing population of obese people the potential for dangerous gas build up in these giant sized intestines has increased. Dr. Melville McKrauten said, “I have seen some big intestines in big bellies. An immense amount of methane gas can ... Continue Reading this wind breaking news ...
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MCT wrote about Dr. Vivold Linquensha more than a year ago. (
--MCT prognostication for the next decade and beyond in the case civilization does not collapse. (So the predictions here may not happen.) You will never find a more absurd, bizarre, off the wall but at the same time convincing prediction of the future.
We here at the MCT can't understand why students aren't rioting in the streets over the outrageous tuition costs. Some students are getting smart, quiting college and hiring winos and homeless bums for tutors who offer more bang for the buck. A typical state university like the University of Oregon's tuition is $8190 up from $5900 a few years ago. The University of California at Berkeley is 12,500 bucks up from $6800 4 or 5 years ago. Yale University costs $38,300 a year--up $7000 4 or 5 years ago.
How would you like to go through life when people you have known for years cannot even pronounce or remember your name? That's how it is for Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith. Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith says his parents gave him his long unique name because the family has such a common last name and they wanted a first name that would stand out. “It wouldn't be so terrible if I had a less common last name,” said Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith, “But since there are so many people with the last name Smith, if someone calls me by Smith I won't even look up. Some people try to abbreviate my name, but that doesn't work either because there are so many variations that nothing ever gets my attention. Also, my parents were very formal people, even if they were oddballs, and they were adamant about pronouncing my full name—so I got accustomed to it as a kid without any nicknames. 
Thieves across the nation are plaguing law enforcement officials and stealing noses. Many people look upon nose theft as comical, but it is no laughing matter to its many victims. An unfortunately typical senario beset a New York city man who wished to remain nameless. Last Monday a man broke into his apartment while he was sleeping and stole his nose. No one knows if the suspect is wearing the nose or what he is doing with it. The NYPD is advising Manhattan residents to report suspicious characters who appear to have two noses or anyone carrying a nose sized bag.
