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    <title>meltingclocktmes.com RSS Template</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com</link>
    <description>Meltingclocktimes.com is a leading internet publication providing sophisticated news and intrigue. No other publication offers such intellectually stimulating news on diverse topics like botched nose jobs, sexually perverted space aliens, and mutating tomatoes and chickens. While other publications may have Elvis sightings news Meltingclocktimes.com was the first (and so far only) publication that has unearthed evidence that Frank Sinatra is still alive also.</description>
<language>en-us</language>

<item>
<title>Scientist Discovers That Many People Who Appear To Be Alive Are Actually Dead!
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/zombies.php</link>
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<title>Meltingclocktimes.com Offers Hillary Clinton $29.95 To Pose Nude
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/hclintonnude.php</link>
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<title> Santa Claus Kicks Republican Congressmen Out Of The North Pole After A Visiting Delegation Molest Reindeer In Men's Bathroom
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/reindeerthing.htm</link>
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<title> Vampire Tree Terrorizing Town
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/vampiretree.htm</link>
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<title>The Meltingclocktimes.com Guide To Combating Junk Mail
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/junkmailcombat.htm</link>
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<title>Feds Arrest Members Of A Vast Underground Midget Crime Network Who Stole Small Objects From Millions Of Homes
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/midgetcrime.htm</link>
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<title>A Growing Problem: Word Mix-up Disease Afflicting Millions! Disorder Cumunication Difficult Making 
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/wordmixup.htm</link>
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<title>Outrageous New Fashion: Live Cat Fur Jackets!
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/livecatfurjackets.htm</link>
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<title>Dick Cheney In Deep Depression Over Republican Defeat And Buddy Rumsfeld's Ouster Gets Outrageous Makeover And Exhibits Outlandish Behavior 
-A disgruntled vice presidential staffer exposes the bizarre interworkings of the vice president's office.
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/cheney.htm</link>
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<title>Punk Band Singles Out Geeks In Audience And Refuses To Play Until They Leave
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/geeks.htm</link>
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<title>Frank Sinatra Discovered Working As Santa Claus In Oregon Department Store
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/santasinatra.htm</link>
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<title>Sprawling Factory Built In Oregon, But No One Knows What They Make, Including The Workers -- Stock is way up!
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/somethingaboutnothing.php</link>
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<title>Recycled Toilet Paper: Questions Arrise On How Toilet Paper Manufacturers Get The Shit Out, Is the use of recycled toilet paper sanitary?
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/recycledtoiletpaper.htm</link>
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<title>The Dark Side Of The Internet: There Is A Growing Underworld Of People Publishing And Exchanging Photos Of Pet Poodles
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/poodles.php</link>
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<title>White House To Be Razed For New Super Walmart
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/walmartwhitehouse.htm</link>
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<title>Gay Transvestite Bigfoot Stalking Handsome Hunk In Oregon
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/gaybigfoot.php</link>
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<title>Man Lets Out Hellacious Fart In Mexican Restaurant, 3 Dead
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/fatalfart.htm</link>
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<title>Life Smells Sweet For The Man With The World's Biggest Nose
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/bignose.htm</link>
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<title>Young People Forgoing College And Getting Bums On The Streets For Personal Tutors To Save Money On Exorbitant Tuition
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/bumcollege.php</link>
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<item>
<title>Life Is Rough For Man Named Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdoodlefuch.php</link>
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<title>New Oddball Crime Wave Epidemic, Burglars Stealing Noses
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/nosethieves.htm</link>
</item>

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<title>New Sport Craze: Live Turkey Parachuting! Sky Divers Are Jumping From Planes Without Parachutes But Attached To Turkeys
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/turkeyparachuting.htm</link>
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<title>Vampires Go On Fast To Bolster Blood Supply In Town's Hospitals
</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/vampiresfast.htm</link>
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<title>Annual Ugly, Poor and Fat Convention Swarming With Groupies
</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/uglypoorfatconvention.htm</link>
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<title>Dinosaurs Went Extinct Because They Were Gay -- Apparently Barney was not the first gay dinosaur
</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/gaydinosaurs.htm</link>
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<item>
<title>Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans--Pollution Free, Too Cheap To Meter Technology Will Revolutionize The World
</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/beercanpower.htm</link>
</item>

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<title>Outrageous New Fashion Craze: Displaying Dead Grandparents In The Living Room
</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/deadgrandparents.php</link>
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<item>
<title>Scientists Develop Dog With No Asshole --Genetic Engineers Do It Again! Product Will Revolutionize The Pet Industry!
</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/assfreedog.php</link>
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<item>
<title>Meltingclocktimes.com Proposes New Rules To Improve Major Sports, Part 2 --Sports that are not really sports--bowling, figure skating, and golf (plus boxing)
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/sports2.htm</link>
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<item>
<title>Meltingclocktimes.com Proposes New Rules To Improve Major Sports, Part 1 --Suggestions include eliminating free throws in basketball, mandatory wardrobe malfunctions in half time shows, and replacing hockey pucks with live chihuahuas
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/sports1.htm</link>
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<item>
<title>Mad Scientist Puts Chemical In Water Supply That Will Turn Everyone In The Whole World Into Elvis Impersonators
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/elvis.htm</link>
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<title>Many Dead People Are Not Really Dead But Suffer From A Severe Form Of Hypochondria
</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/hypochondria.htm</link>
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<title>Man Follows Shampoo Directions And Dies In Shower After Lathering, Rinsing And Repeating For Weeks</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/latherrinserepeat.htm</link>
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<title>Giant Publication Weekly World News Rips Off Meltingclocktimes.com</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/wwnripoff.php</link>
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<title>Man Trying To Break World's Record By Singing, "10,000,000 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" Shot To Death By Wife</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/beeronthewall.htm</link>
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<title>Short, Bald, Fat Guy In New Jersey Controls The World</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/shortbaldfat.php</link>
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<title>VW Hippie Van With Hippie Skeletons Collides Into International Space Station</title>
<link>http://meltingclocktimes.com/hippieisscrash.php</link>
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<title>Jehovah Witnesses &amp; Mormons In Major Turf Wars Over Door to Door Trafficking</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/turfwars.htm</link>
</item>

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<title>Whipped Cream Factory Explodes, Entire Town Buried Under Whipped Cream, Hundreds Feared Dead -Nothing like this since Mt Vesuvius buried Pompeii in ancient Roman Empire</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/whippedcreamkaboom.htm</link>
</item> 

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<title>Headless People Terrorizing Cities And Towns Across The Nation!</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/headless.htm</link>
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<title>Aerosol Pork: The Ultimate Weapon Against Islamic Terrorists</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/aerosolpork.htm</link></item> 
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<title>Aliens Give Up On Plot To Take Over Earth Because, "Earthlings All Look Alike"</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/Aliensgiveup.htm</link> 
</item> 
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      <title>God Sends Johnny Cash To Play In Prison Hell Circuit</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/cashplaysprisonhell.htm</link> 
</item> 
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<title>Extraterrestrials Planting Bugs In Chickens</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/chickens&amp;aliens.htm</link> 
</item> 
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<title>The Next Big Thing: Dwarf Tossing!</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/dwarftossing.htm</link> 
</item> 
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<title>Fargo, North Dakota Divided On Hosting Idiot Convention</title>
<link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/fargo%20north%20dakota%20divided.htm</link> 
</item>
<item>
<title>Fat People Wanted, To Nest New Super Eggs! Genetically Modified Eggs Outsize Chickens</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/fatfolksnesteggs.htm</link> 
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<title>Gay Population Skyrocketing Due To Vampire Aversion</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/gayvampireaversion.htm</link> 
</item>

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<title>Hippie Convention Convenes In San Fransisco </title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/hippieconvention.htm</link> 
</item>
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<title>New Sport Craze: Live Cat Soccer</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/livecatsoccer.htm</link> 
</item>

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<title>New Craze In Cuisine For The Rich: Mashed Donkey Brains!</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/masheddonkeybrains.htm</link> 
</item>

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<title>Porno Sites That Cater To Nose Fetishists Raking In Millions</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/noseporno.htm</link> 
</item>

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<title>Porno Movies Going Overboard?</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/pornosoverboard.htm</link> 
</item>

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<title>Frank Sinatra Still Alive! Seen With Elvis Presley</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/Sinatra%20Still%20Alive.htm</link> 
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<title>Frank Sinatra Touring Incognito As A Singer With Punk Rock Band</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/sinatrainpunkband.htm</link> 
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<title>Rebellious Teens Find New Way To Piss Off Parents: They Stop Bathing </title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/teensstopbathing.htm</link> 
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<title>Tomatoes Grow Legs! Shoppers Outraged</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/Tomatoes%20grow%20legs.htm</link> 
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<title>Bush Throws Wild Transvestite Ball In White House</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/whitehousedragball.htm</link> 
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<title>Mad Cow Scare A Plot By Aliens Who Are Sexually Attracted To Cows</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/madcowalienplot.htm</link> 
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<title>Disgruntled Factory Worker Puts Super Glue In Condoms, Thousands Of Couples Stuck Together</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/supergluecondoms.htm</link> 
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<title>Plan To Increase The Speed Limit To 100 MPH Will Cut Traffic Congestion</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/trafficplan.htm</link> 
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<title>Gorilla Living In The White House!</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/gorillainwhitehouse.htm</link> 
</item>
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<title>New Sport Craze: Pin The Tail On The Donkey With A Live Donkey And A Nail Gun</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/pinthetail.htm</link> 
</item>
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<title>Schwarzenegger Obsessed, Haunted By Reagan, Driven to Outdo Him</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/govenatorobbsessed.htm</link> 
</item>
<item>
<title>Cure Found For Baldness, Saddam Hussein's Spider Hole. Halliburton Gets Contract To Administer Hair Growth Resort In Hole</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/spiderholebaldnesscure.htm</link> 
</item>
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<title>Parents Using Butt Plugs On Babies To Keep From Having To Change Diapers</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/buttplugs.htm</link> 
</item>
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<title>Meltingclocktimes.com Apologizes For Hastening Reagan's Death</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com</link> 
	 </item>
	 
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<title>New Talking Toilet Offending Users, Toilets Attempt Toilet Humor And Everyone Isn't Laughing</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/talkingtoilet.htm</link> 
</item>

<item>
<title>Meltingclocktimes.com Recommendations For John Kerry's Vice Presidential Running Mate, Jenna Jameson And Harold The Chimpanzee Among Picks</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/vpforkerry.php</link> 
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	  <item>
<title>New Milestone: Tobacco Store Receives 10,000,000th Prince Albert In A Can Crank Call. Popular Prince Albert Tobacco Has Made Life Hell For Tobacco Store Clerks</title>
      <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/princealbertcan.htm</link> 
</item>

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<title>Perverts Molesting Vacuum Cleaners, A Growing Problem For Appliance Stores And Law Enforcement Agencies</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/vacuumperverts.htm</link> 
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<title>Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby--Click To See Amazing Photos</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/red,white,bluebaby.htm</link> 
</item>

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<title>John Kerry Mistakenly Does Not Take Meltingclocktimes.com Readers' Advice And Taps John Edwards        for VP Running Mate. John Edwards Had Electro-Shock Therapy On Genitals</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/vpforkerry.php</link> 
</item>

<item>
<title>Saddam Hussein And Osama Bin Laden Have Transplanted Their Brains, Terrorists Getting Brain Transplants To Avoid Hi-Tech Identity Methods</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/braintransplants.htm</link> 
</item>

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<title>Hospital Mess Up: Sex Change Patient Mixed Up With Nose Job Patient</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/nosesexchangemess.htm</link> 
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<title>New Traveling Circus To Feature Lions Versus Christians As In Roman Times</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/christiansvslions.htm</link>
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<title>Warning! Chickens And Other Birds Are Attacking Cell Phone Users!</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/birdcellphoneattacks.htm</link>
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<title>Saddam Hussein Has Escaped!</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/Saddamescape.htm</link>
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<title>Mafioso Thugs Terrorizing "Low Carb" Restaurants! Italian food lovers claim "low carb" trend is terrorizing good food</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/lowcarbterror.htm</link>
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<title>Nerds Plotting To Take Over The World!</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/nerdtakeover.htm</link>
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<title>Frank Sinatra Controlling The Mafia's Assault On Low Carb Restaurants</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/antilowcarbsinatra.htm</link>
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<title>Rich Wackos Using Poor People For Furniture</title>
    <link>http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/humanfurniture.htm</link>
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