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Breaking Fourth of July Patriotic News! July 1, 2004!
Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby

George Washington Jefferson & his proud parents.

His mother is half Irish and half American Indian. His father is half Mexican and half Italian. Her father is half black and half Chinese. Her mother is of Eastern European Jewish origin, part Japanese, and part hillbilly. This married couple is made up of ancestors from all corners of the Earth, but they are all American. One thing this couple always had in common was their patriotic love for the USA.

Bernie Wingtlalato, their neighbor says, “They always do it up on holidays. On July the Forth they'll usually have ten flags waving. They sure love the USA!”

The patriotic multi-ethnic, multi-colored couple always wondered what color their baby would be. So imagine their surprise when they gave birth last July 4th to a healthy red, white and blue baby boy. What's amazing is that the baby even has fifty distinct stars on his back. “This shows that God loves us and the United States,” said the gleaming mother.

“That doesn't mean we approve of everything that goes on in the US,” added the father, “but I believe we will overcome our problems.”

What looked like some discoloration at first has become distinctly red, white and blue as time went on. Many people have accused the couple, Elmord and Felicia Jefferson of tattooing the baby. “I am appalled that anyone would think I would tatto my baby. Our baby is 100% natural,” protested the mother.

You just look at the skin and there is no doubt. It is real. Just last week the worldwide media covered the news of a German baby in Berlin who is five times stronger than other boys his age due to a gene mutation. Most mutations have a negative impact. This was one of the first discoveries of a human gene mutation having a positive effect. Now, just a short time later, another case of a positive mutating gene has surfaced. Some say it is a miracle, but scientists can also explain this as a process of evolution. According to Princeton University Evolutionist, Enid Forkenhaven, "If this red, white and blue gene mutation benefits the boy he'll do well in life and pass on his superior genes. Due to the social esteem the boy is getting, and the superior sun protection of his red, white and blue pigment I believe hundreds of years down the road the world will see many people with patriotic skin color."

When the baby was young his parents kept him out of the limelight so he could enjoy his infancy in peace. Now the Jeffersons are letting the American public in on this fantastic gift: A red, white and blue baby. If anything epitomizes the melting pot, this is it.

And what's more American than the kid's name? George Washington Jefferson!