The Internet Is A Fucking Waste of Time

Is your life better than it was fifteen years ago because we have the Internet now? Think about it. Isn't it a giant waste of time? Sure, putting parasites like travel agents, stock brokers and newspaper classified advertising monopolies out of business is good. Sure, the wealth of information is good. But mostly the Internet has turned into to a fucking waste of time. The Internet makes available so much information that no one can take it all in. So we have more and know less because there is too much of everything.

I was thinking the Internet is good because there's so much fascinating stuff to read. Before the Internet people sat like zombies transfixed in front of televisions turning their brains into horseshit. (& if you are thinking, "I'm special because I watch sophisticated movies and documentaries," --Fuck you. You're still a couch potato in a vegetative state engrossed in fantasy world that someone else created.) So... I thought at least people read on the Internet. And reading educates, stimulates and exercises the brain--unlike TV and movies that turn you into a zombie. But I suspect people are not watching TV much less. And people are not reading so much via the Internet--they're watching youtube videos. So the Internet is just another vehicle for TV. Then there are all the social networks where you can spend hours just clicking on pictures of your, "friends." Is that not a colossal waste of time?

Since MCT is on the avant-guard of world trend setting culture we contemplated getting a Facebook/Twitter account for MCT CEO's Brian Friedkin's intestinal gas and fecal matter. That way you can stay updated to the breaking split second whenever MCT CEO Brian Friedkin farts or takes a shit. But isn't there enough shit already on the Internet?

So turn off the computer--it's springtime. Go outside, go into the mountains and wrestle a bear, or get lost in a forest. If you live near the ocean go jump in the water and wrestle a shark. If you're near the desert go drag your varicose veins over the rocks and cactus. Go talk to your neighbors. The problem is that you're all uninterested in each other because how can you stir anyone's interest if you're glued to computers and TV screens all your life? Go have sex with your wife or girlfriend instead of wasting your time with Internet porn. If you have no mate go see some strippers and at least interact with a live human. Women, go screw your boyfriends and husbands. If you don't have one quit being so hard to get. Take a chance on someone. You never know, something good might come out of it.